The Best Joke Ever
Three Christians die and go to Heaven – a mystic, an evangelical, and a fundamentalist.
St. Peter is waiting for them at the Gate.
“Gentlemen, welcome! We have been waiting for you. Prepare to enter into the joy of your Lord.”
All three men breath a tremendous sigh of relief because, let’s be honest… everything hinges on *that* moment. They made the cut! This is what they have been waiting for their entire lives. So, they begin to make their way through. Then St. Peter stops them short.
“Hold for just a moment, you saints, you. Before you enter in, we have a mandatory theological debriefing in this room off to the side of the narthex here. If you would be so good as to wait just a little longer, we’ll get through this bit of protocol and then you may take to Eternity and all the rest with it.”
The three Christians seem just fine with this development, not worried in the least. They are trained theologians, after all. What could go wrong?
The mystic is called into the room first. As he prepares to open the door, St. Peter delivers one last piece of information.
“Oh, Heavens, forgive me! I forgot to mention that your debriefing is with Jesus…”
At that, each man stands straighter than he has ever stood. To find themselves debriefed by their Lord?! This changes everything.
Nevertheless, the mystic takes a deep breath, opens the door, and gently closes it behind himself. The other two shuffle in anticipation for a while. A couple hours later the mystic emerges from that same room with a face beaming like a thousand suns.
“I can’t believe I got so much of it right!” he exclaims, leaping into Glory, singing and giddy all the way.
The evangelical is the next to go into that room with Jesus. He takes a deep breath too, then shuts the door behind himself, more than a little pensive. He remains in there with His Savior for an entire day. He is not glowing so much when he comes back out.
“How could I have been such a fool? How could I have emphasized so many of the wrong things?” he wonders, even as he shakes his head at himself. Well, that weight falls right off his shoulders as he steps over the threshold of Heaven.
The fundamentalist is the last one to go into that room with Jesus. He struts all the way, nearly slamming the door behind himself. And then nothing happens for quite a while. Time continues to drag. Days pass. St. Peter wonders what might be going on. Then, at long last, after two full weeks, He finally opens the door.
Jesus comes bursting out of the room, shouting, “I can’t believe I got it all wrong!”